THE OTHER END OF THE LEASH

WRITTEN MID-JULY, POSTED WHILE I’M IN AFRICA:

I recently spent three evenings with Jim’s son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter Taylor, and so the issue of kids and dogs is near and dear to me right now. I also, in that serendipitous way of the world, just received a question about how to find help for a Boxer who growled at a grand child from the post Who Should Treat Behavioral Problems.

Young children and dogs can be the best of friends, or the worst of enemies. There’s just no way around it, to some dogs, kids can be unpredictable, rude, and/or frightening. And surely, to some kids, dogs can be unpredictable, rude and/or frightening. Given that, here’s some generic advice, sprinkled with specifics from Will’s encounters with Taylor.

1) Never live in the land of “I-think-it-will-be-okay.” If you are not 110% positive that an interaction between a child and a dog will be safe, don’t allow it to happen. Any time I hear “I think it will be okay,” red flags start to wave. What does “I think it’ll be okay” mean? That maybe, probably, it’ll be okay, but you’re not sure? I’ve had 21 years of hearing people say that they “thought” it would be okay, and then they were sitting in my office, crying about whether to euthanize or re-home their dog. Granted, two decades of hearing about bites, law suits and potential euthanasias makes a person especially cautious, but that’s still what I’d advise any parent or dog owner to be: extra cautious. When dogs bite, it happens like lightening, so don’t think (there’s that word again) that you can prevent something because you’re ‘right there.’ You can’t. If you’ve ever believed me on anything, believe me on this.

2) Always protect both the child and the dog. It is neither fair nor safe to sit back and let a child harass a dog (or vice versa) because the dog is “so good with kids.” Well, he may be now, but after a number of years of pulled tails and poked eyes, he may decide he’s had enough. (That was a VERY common presentation in my office: “He’s always been so good with kids, he’d let them do anything to him, and then, out of the blue, he bit the neighbor boy.”) If you don’t protect your dog from a child who has not yet learned to interact politely with a dog, you are forcing your dog to protect him or herself. Some dogs can’t take it the first time, but others put up with it until they are older and sick of it. Even if your dog never threatens a child, it’s not fair to the dog AND it is teaching the child to interact in ways that may get him bitten by another dog. Speaking of teaching. . .

3) Both children and dogs need to be taught, gently and kindly, how to interact. If your dog is too exuberant, you might yelp as if you were a litter mate when the play got too rough. I’ve used a sound like ARPPP! (think seal here), that bursts out of my mouth when a dog has been a bit too rough with something weaker. It usually gets a startle response from the dog, and sometimes (not always) the dog seems to get the idea that she must self-handicap better and inhibit herself. Children always need to learn how to interact kindly with real dogs, given that they tend to treat them like stuffed animals until they learn better and acquire more emotional control. Any trainer or behaviorist can tell you legions of stories about kids who ran up to dogs, grabbed their heads and kissed the dog on the nose, while the parents watch with big smiles on their face. Until the dog bit, then the smiles go away.

4) Management is a good solution in many cases. Lots of dogs either can’t tolerate the energy and arousal of young children, especially if they are not used to them. Some dogs can learn to be comfortable around children with positive experiences, and some dogs can’t.  Some dogs can be around kids in certain contexts, and not others (see about Willie and granddaughter below).  There is nothing wrong with keeping kids and dogs apart, as long as both are in comfortable places. Willie loves his crate, and spent a lot of time in it Sunday when the whole family was visiting. Not for a minute did I feel guilty–he could rest and not be expected to deal with arousal levels over his head, and I could relax and enjoy  my company rather than being vigilant every single second.

5) Use conditioning to ease the relationship. I’ll use Operant conditioning next time Taylor comes out, asking Willie “Where’s Taylor?” He loves this game, loves “Where’s Jim” and “Where’s Trisha?” and it’s a great way to relax him around a child. Of course, I’ll be standing right next to Taylor, and will have her throw him a toy when he gets close (but not too close.) I’ll use Classical conditioning too, having Taylor toss or feed him treats (he’s has already taken several from her hand, mommy instructing her to hold her hand out flat on top of mommy’s hand) or toss his toys. I can teach Willie to lie down every time Taylor starts to run, to play bow when he sees her… etc etc etc. The point here is that it is our job to teach our dogs how to interact, what we want from them, and to do all we can to influence their emotional state when around children.

Will doing all this make every dog trustable around kids? Not a chance. Every dog is different, and some dogs will never be comfortable around kids, period. For those dogs, either management or a new home might be the best alternative. I’d be curious how you have handled this issue, and what your experiences have been. It’s such a huge part of our culture: kids and dogs, and how they interact. (By the way, Colleen Pelar has a book coming out in fall on how people in the profession can help parents raise kids and dogs. I reviewed it and it is great! I’ll keep you posted.) (8/23: When I first posted this I attributed the book to Robin Bennet, who has collaborated with Colleen in the past. Robin, gently and graciously corrected my foolish  mistake.)

Meanwhile, back at the farm: here’s Lassie and Taylor (and her dad Shane) playing around the wading pool (of course, this wading pool is normally for the dogs!). Note Lassie’s open mouth and relaxed posture, a good sign that she is comfortable at the moment. However, even though Lassie has been absolutely bomb-proof with children for all of her life, we still monitored all her interactions with Taylor, who didn’t know (how could she?) that it’s not a good idea to take a dog’s muzzle in your hands and squeeze. Why Taylor wanted to do this no one knows, but her parents are fantastic about teaching her to be polite around dogs, and they watched her (as did I) literally every second she interacted with Lassie. This level of hands-on interaction was only allowed because I have 14 years of experience with Lassie as adoring young children, and because Taylor’s parents were as vigilant as I. Even though Lassie has been amazing around kids, she IS 15 1/2 years old, and it is not fair to expect her to put up with things she would have in the past, so we still watched all interactions carefully. Even at only two years of age, Taylor is learning how to interact with unfamiliar dogs… would that all parents be so wonderful as Taylor’s!

Here’s Taylor and mom Rachel at the zoo, doing what all kids do: hugging. And she’s hugging the perfect animal, a statue that can’t take offense or turn around and bite her!

Teaching children not to hug dogs is a true challenge, it is clearly part of our species’ natural repertoire (I talk about this at length in The Other End of the Leash), and something that is hard for children to inhibit. To us, hugs are a sign of affection, but to most dogs they are, at best, something to put up with. To nervous, reactive or status-seeking dogs, hugs are rude, offensive and threatening. The few times that Taylor started to hug Lassie we gently re-directed her to another behavior. However, I never would have allowed Taylor and Willie to be in a situation in which a hug might even have started… I simply don’t trust him around children this young yet. Willie is reactive, easily made nervous, unfamiliar with young children, and nippy when objects (not live ones) start moving around fast. It has taken him years to keep himself from nipping a mop or broom and I have to remind him still not to nip the tires of the wheelbarrow when it is moving. Granted, that’s not the same as living things, but again, being conservative is smart. Being anything else around kids and dogs is not. When Taylor was running around in the house, Willie spent lots of time in his crate (and got lots of treats brought to him for being so quiet and patient about it). Later, we went on a walk with all of us in which Taylor and Willie could get used to each other without directly interacting, and spent some time in the yard with the whole gang outside. Note that there are no photos of Willie and Taylor; taking pictures would have distracted me from being as vigilant I necessary. Maybe next time?

On a walk in a prarie, which was the third time that Willie had seen Taylor, I noticed that Willie ran up, with a completely relaxed body, to Taylor and her mom and licked faces. I praised and called him away immediately…. to insure that things ended on a good note. Overall, everything went beautifully, but possibly because I was hyper conservative, never allowed any interactions I wasn’t 110% comfortable with, and Taylor’s parents were amazingly observant and cautious. Things might have been fine without that level of vigilance, I am the first to admit I was being hyper conservative. . . but there was no cost to being so, and a big cost to everyone if things had not gone well.

And, if you’ll indulge me, just a note about Jim’s grand daughter? . . .  Can I say it now, or is it just too tacky and grand-parenty?  Oh well, I’ll say it anyway, awash in oxytocin as I am: IS TAYLOR CUTE OR WHAT?

Karen London and I are revising Feisty Fido: Help for the Leash Aggressive Dog, and I find myself fascinated by how perspectives and techniques change over time. We’re not changing the essence of the booklet, far from it, but there are a few things that are being modified because of our experiences and gains in knowledge since we wrote it.

Most of the booklet will remain the same–especially the emphasis on teaching an incompatible behavior when a dog barks, lunges or behaves problematically toward another dog while on a walk. But we are modifying some of the advice, and I’m interested in your experiences related to our recommendations.

First off, we are putting less emphasis on the importance of teaching “Watch” to mean “turn and look at me UNTIL I RELEASE YOU.” For those of you not familiar with the booklet, the first step in a Feisty Fido program is teaching a dog to turn his head toward you and look at your face when you say “Watch.” Once this is mastered in an area with few distractions, the owner tells the dog to Watch every time he sees another dog, working up to a dog who “AutoWatches” every time he sees another dog on a walk in the neighborhood. This not only teaches an incompatible response to the sight of another of the same species, it classically conditions a dog to feel relaxed and happy at the sight of another dog (changing “Oh NO!” into “Oh boy!”).

Over the years we’ve found that most owners have more trouble with the release than the cue Watch itself, and most importantly, that most dogs don’t need to stay fixated onto their owner’s faces until they hear “okay.” After all, if they turn and look away from the approaching dog and get reinforced, what’s the problem with looking back at the other dog and providing another reinforcement opportunity when Watch is said again? Granted, there are some dogs who need to keep their eyes on their owner’s faces–the ones whose response to the sight of another dog is totally out of control for example, but most dogs do just fine if you teach them that the sight of an unfamiliar dog is the cue to look toward your owners and get a tasty treat or a session of play.

The other modification of the booklet is an emphasis on dropping out prompts or lures early on, in order to avoid a smooch or a hand movement from becoming the cue (instead of the word Watch). We wrote Feisty Fido in 2003, six years ago, and since then we’ve become much more cautious about owners inadvertently teaching a dog that the cue to turn your head is a smooch or a movement, rather than the word watch or an approaching dog itself. It’s so easy to say “Watch” and encourage what you want with a smooch or a movement and end up undermining the power of the cue you want to use. In the new version of Feisty Fido, we advise people to see first if their dog will turn his head just to the sound of the word itself. If that isn’t effective, we suggest prompting (with a smooch to get the dog’s attention for example) or luring (by moving food a few inches from the dog’s nose and luring it toward your face) three times in a row, and then saying “Watch” all by itself and waiting at least 3 seconds for the dog to turn toward you (and then JACKPOT if he does!) This is effective for all but the most distractable of dogs (note one is doing this at the first stage of training in an area with no or few distractions, and never around another dog!).

Those of you operant trainers know that in a ‘purely’ operant modality one would not use a prompt or lure at all, and merely wait for the dog to turn his head toward the owner. In my experience, this requires far too much time and patience for most people (okay, you’re right, ‘most people’ includes me), and that doing something to help the dog get reinforced early on is productive. However, as I learn and grow, it is increasingly clear how careful we must be to not let prompts or lures become the cue themselves. When I read what we wrote in 2003, I can’t help but want to revise it.

Of course, I want to revise just about everything I write as soon as it comes from the printer. I am lucky in that early on in my career, I heard Terry Ryan say that every author has to be prepared to disagree with something she wrote as soon as the ink dries. Oh my was she right. I’ve gone back and looked at things I wrote twenty years ago and… well, never mind.

Speaking of a long time ago, we’ve had a sale on the Advanced Canine Behavior Seminar DVD and it flew off the shelves. It was recorded in 2001, and I have to admit I’m curious about what’s on it! I swear I don’t remember… If anyone has watched it and wondered: “Does she do that anymore….” or something similar, don’t hesitate to ask in a comment. Someday I’ll get the nerve up to watch it myself.

Meanwhile, back at the farm, it’s summer now, humid but still rainy, green and lush and fertile. The peony flowers are falling apart, looking like blousy ‘ladies of the evening,’ with too much make up on. The daisies are rioting white and yellow and the wild black raspberry bushes are full of tiny fruit buds. Willie and Lassie were so glad to see me when I got home Tuesday night from Maine that I’m still all oxytocin-y about it. Martha the older ewe still isn’t right, even with a different anti-biotic and wormer, but her lamb is thriving, as are all the lambs, who doubled in size for the five days that I was gone. Okay, maybe not quite that much. Jim finished the carport beside the garage, and it looks stupendous. What a guy. I may be able to turn around a problem dog, but anyone who can build an entire wooden structure that doesn’t fall apart in a few days is a miracle worker in my opinion.

After all that I should send you photos of the farm, but I haven’t taken any since I got back. Here are two photos from New Hampshire, one of Squam Lake (of “Golden Pond” fame) and one a typical forest stream that feeds the lake. They make me smile just to look at them, remembering how peaceful they are in person. What is it about water that is so relaxing?

Monday, 5:16 pm.  Well, I had planned to write something wise and witty about dogs, people and play. I was inspired by the closing ceremonies of the Olympics (finally I can get some sleep, but I’m going to  miss them, darn!), and found myself thinking more about how important play is between people and dogs.

But that was then (this morning) and this is now (this evening).  I’ve spent most of the day on machines and technology… dealing with issues related to the new website, creating an ad for the new play booklet to send out electronically, learning new software, etc. etc. I’ve been riding this computer almost all day, and am ready to rip every hair out of my head.  Why, oh why, can’t we use operant and classical conditioning on machines? If only I could click and treat when the new software program works right. (I’d be happy to shape anything approximating correct at this point.) If only my computer had an amygdala and I could classically condition its emotions to respond to me when I touched the keyboard.

If anyone has figured out how to use positive reinforcement on a machine, oh please let me know. We all know that punishment, the kind one never, ever should use on a animal, can be effective on machines sometimes, albeit erratically.  I am, however, reluctant to kick my computer (although I’ve considered it), verbal corrections have not been effective in any way (did you hear me on the coasts?) and although I’ve tried withdrawing attention, I’m  not sure my computer cares much either way. I must have gotten the aloof version.

Here’s the good news though.  Part of why I’m frustrated is that I have a lot to do before I leave town.. and “leaving town” in this case is going to Sweden to do a seminar, and then going hiking on the west coast of Norway. Oh boy. Oh boy.

Okay, I’ll stop complaining. But, I think you’ll understand this: Lassie is fourteen and a half, and it breaks my heart to leave her now. She’s doing amazingly well, her veterinary acupuncturist, Dr.  Jody Bearman, was at the farm today and raved about how she’s doing. I suspect that Lassie and I are equally vain about how well she is doing for  her age.  Here she is again, in all her glory.  Her face looks like I feel when I leave her…